Driving Lessons
by Angewomon2000
Summary: Brittany's teaching Jam on how to drive, but things don't go according to her plan!


Driving Lessons  
  
  
Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, I do not own Snowboard  
Kids, so please do not sue. We also do not own that poem for the   
disclaimer. We see it everywhere and were lazy so we used it. Sorry if   
you are the original creator and we took it. If so, please tell us in  
a review and I will kindly change it!!!   
  
  
Day 1   
  
  
Jam: Okay, Brittany, are ya ready?  
  
Brittany: *Puts on seatbelt* yup! Okay, now the car is already started,   
so softly, push your foot down on the pedal.  
  
Jam: Okay! *slams foot onto pedal which sends the car flying forward*  
  
Brittany: *while being pushed against the seat* Jam!!! Slow down!!!  
  
Jam: *rams into a tree, car stops*   
  
Brittany and Jam: *stares at eachother*   
  
Airbags: click, click, click   
  
Brittany: I hate you.  
  
Jam: Oops.  
  
Airbags: *open on them*  
  
Jam: Heh heh heh *struggles to push it back in*  
  
Brittany: *struggles to get hers back in and gets it in*   
  
Jam: *gets it in*   
  
Brittany: *pant* I'm never *pant* riding with you again.   
  
Jam: *pant* I'm never riding with me again *pant* either!   
  
Brittany & Jam: *walk outside and stare at the tree that has a huge   
crack in it*   
  
Brittany: Poor tree.   
  
Jam: Yup.  
Day 2   
  
  
Brittany: *is wearing helmet and straps herself to chair with, like,   
40 seatbelts* Okay, Jam, nice and easy.  
  
Jam: Ok. *pushes petal* Why wont it go!?   
  
Brittany: *rolls eyes* You have to turn the key! *reaches over and   
turns the key for Jam*  
  
Jam: Oh, I knew that! *pushes hard on the petal which sends them   
flying again*  
  
Brittany & Jam: AAAAAHHHHH!!!  
  
Brittany: JAM! LET GO OF THE PEDAL!!!  
  
Jam: I CAN'T! ITS ON AUTOMATIC! THE THINGS BUSTED! *spins driver wheel*  
  
Car: *is going around in circles*  
  
Brittany: Oh, great, NOW what do we do?  
  
Jam: Don't worry about it! I'm cool! I've got a plan!   
  
Brittany: Let me guess: we sit here as the car spins until we get   
really really dizzy and die!  
  
Jam: Exactly!  
  
Brittany: Ok, I'm getting really tired of spinning.  
  
Jam: It can't get any worse.  
  
Airbag: *blows up in their faces*  
  
Jam: *voice muffled from the airbag* It just got worse.  
  
Brittany: *pushes her airbag back in*  
  
Jam: *pushes his airbag back in*  
  
Brittany: I hate you again.  
  
Jam: It's not my fault! Stupid car! *kicks something which happens to   
be the radio button*  
  
Radio: Spinnin' around I've got this funny feeling, turnin' my whole   
world upside down!  
  
Brittany: Jam! Change the song, it's making me sick!  
  
Jam: I CAN'T!!!  
  
Brittany: Oh great! So we are stuck in this spinning car, with this   
spinning song.  
  
Jam: Don't remind me!!!  
  
Brittany: Jam, you are a reckless driver.  
  
Jam: *praying* Gosh, I swear that if I live through this, I will never   
do anything bad ever again!  
  
Mysterious Voice: *thinking* Ok.  
  
Car: *all of a sudden stops*  
  
Jam: Hey! Thanks!  
  
Brittany: *sways* Wow! Everything's all spinny! *falls backwards*  
  
Jam: *sways* Look at all the colors... *falls backwards*  
  
Brittany: I think I'm gonna be sick.  
  
Day 3  
  
  
Brittany: Ok, Jam, this time, we are gonna bring Crystal and Rena with   
us ok?  
  
Crystal: Hi!  
  
Rena: hullo!  
  
Jam: uuhhh ok!  
  
Brittany: Ok, now since Rena is the smallest, she will sit by the   
pedal and push it for you, we will tell her when to stop!  
  
Rena: Ok! *gets by pedal*  
  
Jam: Are you sure that isn't illegal?  
  
Brittany: *rolls eyes* Crystal, you sit in the back and take notes   
*throws Crystal a notepad* but it is a boring job so try not to fall   
asleep!  
  
Crystal: don't worry, I never sleep in cars! *writes the letter " M"   
then instantly falls asleep* ZZZZZZZ!  
  
Jam: How ironic.  
  
Rena: *giggles and puts on her headphones and listens to music*  
  
Brittany: Rena, softly press the pedal!  
  
Rena: *not hearing good because of headphones* SWIFTLY? OK! *presses   
on pedal really hard*  
  
Brittany & Jam: *get thrown back in their seats* AAHHHHH!   
  
Jam: LET GO OF THE PEDAL!  
  
Rena: Listen to metal? Ok! *changes music to heavy metal*  
  
Brittany: LET GO!  
  
Rena: Let's go? OK! *presses harder*  
  
Jam: NOW WHAT??  
  
Brittany: KICK HER!  
  
Jam: NO WAY!  
  
Brittany: WIMP!  
  
Jam: I'M NO WIMP!  
  
Brittany: JUST TAKE OFF HER HEAD PHONES!  
  
Jam: I HAVE TO STEER!  
  
Brittany: YOU'RE PATHETIC!  
  
Crystal: *wakes up* What's goin' on? AAAHHHHH!!!!! WHY ARE WE GOING SO   
FAST???  
  
Jam: GET RENA TO STOP!!!!  
  
Crystal: RENA! TAKE OFF YOUR HEAD PHONES!  
  
Rena: Turn up the volume on my headphones? OK! *turns up volume on her   
headphones*  
  
Brittany: RENA! *makes a motion on his head for her to take off her   
head phones*  
  
Rena: OOOHHH!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO! *takes off head phones*   
AAHHHHH!!!!!! *lets go of pedal*  
  
Brittany & Jam & Crystal & Rena: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! *get blown forward   
in their seats because of sudden stop*  
  
Brittany: You are hopeless, Jam!  
  
Crystal: You will never drive!  
  
Rena: I give up on you!  
  
Jam: *sweatdrops*  
  
DAY 4  
  
  
  
Brittany: Ok, look, Jam, not to be rude, but I'm sick of driving with   
you!  
  
Jam: *sarcastically* Ouch.  
  
Brittany: Sorry, but it's true!  
  
Jam: You're just jealous.  
  
Brittany: *sarcastically* Oh YEAH! I'm SO jealous that I can't drive   
recklessly, unsafely, and faster then a NASCAR RACER!  
  
Jam: Ok, the sooner you get me driving correctly, the sooner you can   
get outta here!  
  
Brittany: *puts on seatbelt* Let's just get this over with!  
  
Jam: Oh so you want to get it over with? Why didn't you say so!   
*smirking* I'll just drive FASTER!  
  
Brittany: You are a terrible human being.  
  
Jam: Human BEAN.  
  
Brittany: Whatever.  
  
Jam: Only I can say that!!!  
  
Brittany: *smirks* whatever whatever whatever...  
  
Jam: *laughs at Brittany* Oh my gosh. You do NOT know what you just   
got yourself into. *puts hands on the wheel and nods*  
  
Brittany: *face turns pale* No, you WOULDN'T!!!  
  
Jam: Yeah, I would.  
  
Brittany: *crosses arms* Some brother YOU turned out to be!  
  
Jam: Hey! I'm a good brother!  
  
Brittany: Just go.  
  
Jam: Umm, ok. *begins to turn the key*  
  
Brittany: Jam?  
  
Jam: *stops what he's doing* What is it, Brittany?  
  
Brittany: I love you as my brother.  
  
Jam: *face turns pale* Umm uh Britt-Brittany?  
  
Brittany: I've never told you before, but I love you. I love you the   
way our parents love you. I want to care for you the way that Mom and   
Dad would. I want to have a relationship with you forever and ever as   
your favorite number one sister. Won't you speak to me like the brother  
you are? Here and now?  
  
Jam: *eyes widen, cannot speak, face pure white*  
  
Brittany: *begins to laugh hysterically*  
  
Jam: Gah! You idiot!   
  
Brittany: I cannot believe you fell for it!  
  
Jam: *blushes* Do me a favor and shut up!  
  
Brittany: *begins to laugh hysterically again*  
  
Jam: *p/oed* You just WATCH it hair-spray girl or I'll give you a car   
ride you will NEVER forget.  
  
Brittany: *tried to hold in the laughter face turning red from trying   
so hard not to laugh*  
  
Jam: You just don't know when to stop do you?  
  
Brittany: NOPE!  
  
Jam: Remember, I have an advantage here, I'm the driver! Therefore, if   
you are mean to me, I will DRIVE!!!  
  
Brittany: Fine! I'll stop!  
  
Jam: Ok, so where are we going today?  
  
Brittany: *muttering* The hospital.  
  
Jam: What was that?  
  
Brittany: *quickly* NOTHING!  
  
Jam: So where?  
  
Brittany: How about an OPEN space with NO TREES and NO NOTHING!!!  
  
Jam: How will we breathe?  
  
Brittany: Well, there's air there! But nothing else!  
  
Jam: How boring. Ok, so where IS this place?  
  
Brittany: Why don't you let ME drive!  
  
Jam: But- but- Oh FINE!  
  
Brittany & Jam: *switch places*   
  
Brittany: *begins to drive PERFECTLY and NICE and WONDERFULY and other   
positive adverbs*  
  
Jam: Why are you driving so weird?   
  
Brittany: I'm driving NORMAL. YOU drive weird.  
  
Jam: What do you mean I drive weird? Look at you! You just ran through   
a green light!!  
  
Brittany: Umm, you are supposed to go through green lights you idiot!   
You're supposed to stop at the RED ones!  
  
Jam: What do you mean you are supposed to stop at the red ones!!! I   
THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STOP AT THE GREEN ONES AND GO THROUGH THE   
RED ONES!!!!!  
  
Brittany: Did you ever know that you are VERY challenged when it comes   
to driving???  
  
Jam: Maybe that's why I get so many tickets.  
  
Brittany: *anime fall*  
  
Jam: Heeey! Pay attention!!! You could get into an accident!  
  
Brittany: Look who's talking! *they arrive* We have arrived!  
  
Jam: I know! You said that 2 times!  
  
Brittany: No, I didn't you were reading my actions!  
  
Jam: WOW!!! Look at the open field it's so...  
  
Brittany: So..?  
  
Jam: Boring looking. How am I supposed to drive here?  
  
Brittany: Ok, you can drive now.  
  
Jam: FINALLY! *pushes Brittany out the door and jumps into the   
driver's seat*  
  
Brittany: *falls out the door* AH!!!  
  
Jam: FULL SPEED AHEAD! *slams on the gas pedal and goes as fast as the   
car could possibly go, leaving Brittany on the ground*  
  
Brittany: I FORGOT TO MENTION-  
  
The car: *stops so abruptly that Jam flies out*  
  
Jam: *soaring through the air* I'M FLYING!!!! *hits the ground* OOF!!!   
PAIN!!! DEVESTATION!!!  
  
Brittany: -The car doesn't have much gas left.  
  
Jam: OUCH!!!!  
  
Brittany: .....  
  
Jam: A little help here????  
  
  
2 B CONTINUED  
  
  
  
Angewomon2000: I will give you the next chapter if I get enough good   
reviews. Flames are not encouraged but accepted. Tell us what you   
think! And don't forget to read our other fan fics! 


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